May
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May
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In high school, I performed a reading of Robert Frost’s “The Death of the Hired Man” for a drama class project. I fell in love with the gentle spirit of the poem and a particular line about the meaning of home.
No, not the line that everyone quotes: “Home is the place where, when you have to go there,/They have to take you in.”
That’s Warren speaking, the husband who isn’t thrilled with the return of an old man — Silas — who has been more nuisance and burden than help around the farm in recent years. My gut always told me that was the belief of frustration, a belief with a resentful edge to it. It might be the truth, but the grace was missing.
In the poem, the next line comes from Warren’s wife, Mary, a woman whose soft heart who always softened my voice when I performed her lines. The line is awkward — I used to think Frost could’ve done better – and that makes it true to the awkward way we often speak, especially when we’re trying to articulate the ineffable. In response to her husband, Mary says: “I should have called it/Something you somehow haven’t to deserve.”
Home is something we somehow don’t have to deserve. It is simply there for us, ready for us to claim. A place where we will hopefully be met, not with judgment or long-suffering resignation, but with the soft spirit of unconditional love. The forgotten quote from Frost, for me, resonates with truth and grace; it’s the one I wish people quoted.
Love this one Peg! And you are right, it resonates with that intersection of truth and grace (sometimes referred to as the “sweet spot”).
ahhh. how nice to have a literary friend and influence in the blogosphere. this post is lovely. But i almost stopped reading because of how ugly that organge box is over there – who in the world suggested you add that????? (jk – now i’ll be a regular reader through rss feed – thanks)
Yes, indeed, the orange box thing-y is sooo ugly! Ditto, Mike. When I “plug into” the orange box, all I get is scrambled, encoded mess, something like my house when I’m not minding the business at hand, which exclude that horrendous orange boxy thing-y…. ugh.
Brenda
Addendum: Apparently Joyce Carol Oates has been a less-than-discerning reader of Frost, also. In a March, 2010, issue of “Smithsonian” magazine, about returning to the hometown of her childhood, she wrote, “…home isn’t a street address or a residence, or, in Robert Frost’s cryptic words, the place where, ‘when you have to go there, they have to let (sic) you in’…” I long for the day when everyone quotes Mary and not Warren. (And BTW, the quote is “take you in,” not “let you in. VERY different connotation. Should I write the copy editor, or is the sole responsibility Joyce Carol’s? I’m in a quandry.)